Crystal Revision follows one inept player’s (second) quest to finish a challenge run of Final Fantasy V for the annual Four Job Fiesta fundraiser.

We’re back with natural-sounding dialogue in the first town of the game. Did you know Bartz’s parents are dead? They’re dead. Did you know that? Here they also are in a flashback.

Faris’s pirate dialogue continues to be my favorite part of FFV 2.0.

We got the literal key to unlock the next plot point while we were in town, so we sail toward it and Lenna and Bartz explicitly detail what’s happening.

Thankfully, the thinly veiled facile environmentalism is interrupted by a bunch of monsters just inside the canal entrance!

And then a large whirlpool stops the boat.

A boss fights us as we try to escape the whirlpool’s pull.

And our friend Syldra is a casualty. (This is genuinely sad and it’s done well in the game.)

Our rudder is destroyed by the whirlpool, so we drift until we wreck in a ship graveyard. Thankfully, Lenna spells this out.

Ahhh, and again we discover that Faris is really a woman. There is some creepy stuff that I’ll spare you from.

So far, my blue mages haven’t learned any blue magic. One great thing about this job is that I can equip armor, shields, and swords, making a blue mage more like a mystic knight at this point. I’m too scared to dawdle and be the victim of magic attacks in order to learn them — with no healer and a limited items budget, I just can’t really do it.

But things will turn around when I get out of the ship graveyard and into the open world.